Tuesday, December 16, 2008

:: When We Suffer ::

The blessed the righteous show that many stories in scripture demonstrate that the righteous are not spared from trials. Consider Job, the blameless and upright, the servant of God who becomes Satan’s target and suffers as few ever will. The apostle Peter tells us not to be surprised at out suffering. Jesus himself tells us that in this fallen world we will have troubles, but Jesus overcomes the world and it’s suffering and sin, so believers in him will stand firm spiritually no matter what the circumstances. We may have many problems, but our deepest since of well being and spiritual security can never be threatened. Our emotions in response to suffering may, like Job’s, run the gamut; but our abiding faith will glorify God and be remembered by those who watch us overcome.

I have seen people who have hardly nothing give more than people who have so much, and people who suffer the most have more of a positive spirit, much more positive than those who should have no suffering in their lives at all. If you look at the patients that I work with, the ones who should be in the most suffering pain are the ones who often speak of it less than those who shouldn’t have a care in the world.

6:35 AM

Monday, December 15, 2008

:: Suffering ::

If God is such a good God, why does he allow suffering? I have attempted to understand this. I have seen so many of my patients go though so much pain and suffering, you would think it’s cruel of God to allow such pain and hard to understand why. You may ask if we have a loving God why does this happen? But have you thought that this is the time they usually cry out to God, and this is the time many of them become closer to God. That during this time of suffering they somehow get the chance to come closer to God and set things right in their lives. So if you look at suffering that way, suffering is a good thing. Sometimes it makes you a better person.

4:32 PM

Thursday, December 11, 2008

:: The Wrath of God ::

Are you a Christian?...Do you know what it is to be a Christian?...On the front of my car is a license tag that says “I love Jesus.” Although there has been times in my life I have doubted God and Christianity, I can now say my strength in God and Christ is strong. But I am human, and I make mistakes. One problem I have is when someone hurts me, I have a very hard time forgiving them, and letting the pain go. Especially when it’s the worse pain of my life, and inflicted by cruelty and by someone I loved dearly, and someone who is suppose to love me back, but didn’t. The bible says to turn the other cheek, and sometimes when you turn the other cheek you get it slapped, but your suppose to do it anyway, even when you have been belittled, beaten, abused, controlled and cheated by someone who is suppose to love you. It’s so very painful. I don’t really want to be negative, but this has happened to me in my life, and it put a lot of pain and hatred in me. Pain and hatred that I must let go of.

I know that life is short, and we are all going to die someday and stand before our maker and be judged for the things we have done in our lives. So over the years I got on my knees and prayed many many many times. I would ask “God why did these bad and painful things happen to me?” and believe it or not God would speak to me. He would tell me he had to change my life and take some people out of it so I could do the things he wanted me to do with my life. He told me I would no longer be controlled and belittled by people who only controlled me and hurt me, and if I to follow him someday my life would be blessed beyond my dreams. God said someday I would finally have the family and children I dreamed of. God told me someday I would have the 2 sons like my father told me I would have years before I even had my beautiful twin boys, and God told me someday I would meet the love of life. God even told me his eyes would be bright green. So you know I looked for the man with beautiful bright green eyes, and I found him. Just like God said I would. My dreams of family and happiness came true. God has blessed me beyond my dreams, and I don’t want to ever take my blessing for granted.

But I still carried and harbored these feelings of hatred for someone who hurt me in my past. I couldn’t understand how God would let someone be so cruel to me and let him get away with it. How could he go unpunished for slapping me, hitting me, trying to dominate and control me, belittling me, cheating on me, and doing it all in the name of our beloved GOD and called himself a Christian. I have no right to judge weather he is a Christian or not, but you see I believe some people hide their sins behind the name of Jesus Christ, only to make themselves look good and feel better about the evil they are doing. I also believe the pain he is suffering now is worse than any pain he has ever caused me, and I should not harbor feelings of hate toward him. His pain is to great, and I should not cause him more pain. God spoke to me 3 years ago, and told me the one person that caused me so much pain, would suffer beyond any pain that I ever had, or could possibly understand. This person would suffer far beyond they pain he has caused me. God said I would hear of his pain, and I should show sorrow and forgiveness. Even though this is a man has never asked my forgiveness and probably never will, I should still forgive him and let all the pain he caused me go. I also believe people can change, and maybe this person has been good and kind to the people who are with him now.

You see I know hatred is something that can destroy a person, and I pray that I get rid of this hatred. I don’t want it in my life. I don’t want to be a vindictive person. I know that if I am vindictive to people who have hurt me God will only put his Wrath on me, and I should be happy, because I am the lucky one. My life has turned out so blessed. I have been given everything I could possibly dream of. I have 3 beautiful healthy happy children, a kind and loving husband, WHO HAS NEVER HIT ME OR CALLED ME A NASTY NAME and I believe he really loves me and respects me. I have a beautiful home, a good education, and I believe I have God is on my side and in my life, or I wouldn’t be having all these blessings. I should be thankful for all God has given me, and forget about anybody who has hurt me in my past. God is the only one who can be their judge, and he will punish them how he sees fit. I should only pray for them that they become a better person, and be able to have the blessings in their life that I have had and still do.

Because God knows what is in our hearts; he knows why bad things happen, and bad things happen to good people. So I must not harbor on hate. I must let go of the past and the pain people have caused me. I should realize that perhaps I have caused them great pain too, and I should seek forgiveness for that pain I have caused, and pray that I become a better person, like God wants me to be. Edit

2:10 PM

Friday, December 14, 2007

:: ::

My son loves Chocolate milk…A funny story I want to share...My family and I were in church on Sunday...and my little boy Cameron got on his knees beside me when we all went to pray and my son said "thank you to the God of chocolate milk."...He said it so loud most of congregation could hear him...I just died laugh'in...I thought it was so funny...So I thought I'd share.

9:00 PM

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

:: ::

I went Christmas shop'in today,,,but it was a waste of time. You see my sweet little hubby wanted a tv for Christmas to put in his den. So I went out and found a really great deal. I got him a 25 inch tv with a build in vhs and dvd player for 115.00 dollars at a computer new and used store. Than when I got it home he was waiting on the front steps. Like he knew I was gonna do that or something. So he sees it and loves it...takes it straight down the den and plays with it for the rest of the day...Now I'm thinking wasn't I suppose to give that to him on Christmas? Now what am I gonna get em?

And get this...I wasn't kidding when I said I saw a lizard today...Guess what my daughter wants for Christmas?...She wants a real lizard...So I went to the pet store to check em out...Those things cost about 30 bucks...and that's without the cage and food and stuff...and their ugly and they smell...and you know I kiss goats and llamas so I usually like smelly animals...but I really don't want to get her a lizard...I just don't care for them...I think one of her friends at school has lizard and she gets a some weird idea in her head...Why can't she want something that isn't living and smells bad...why can she want a dolly or something...but she's totally grown out of that stage...So my Christmas shop'in day was a total waste of time.

But my husbands happy cause he's got a new tv to watch football...gee...I feel neglected already...(kidding...I wonder if he'd think I was sexier if I wore a helmet.

But I also got 5 brothers I gotta find something for too…Dad always gets a tie...that's just the way I am...but this year he's getting a blanket too...I'm not such a bad daughter after all hun?

2:30 AM

Friday, October 12, 2007

:: ::

Summer got a bead removed from her ear today, by Dr. David Cross. The same doctor that did Chris's ear surgery. Summer told Dr. Cross that the bead had been in her ear for 100 years. The doctor just laughed at her.

Cary and Cam are in the living room right now building houses out of pillows. They are most beautiful boys in the whole world. I think when they get older I'm going to have to beat the girls off with a stick, cause they are going to be heart throbs. I think Cary is starting to be developing a crush on the little Spanish girl named Rania, who's in his sister Summer's class. I told Cary that Rania may be little old for him, and he told me I only you mom. He’s just buttering me up so he can get more stuff or something, but if he keeps it up it just might work.

I'm not sure I'll be going to medical school. I worked with darling Dr. Singh today. He's a real sweetheart. I told him I just don't know if I want to put my husband and family in that much dept, and I didn't score that well on the MCAT. I pretty much knew I would not do well on it. I'm taking the Kaplan now. I'll try for one more year, if I don't get in this year. I think first I should be asking God what I should do with my life. What's best for me and my family.

I'm taking the kids to the circus tomorrow, and I should have lots of photos for the site.

be blessed.

4:47 PM

Sunday, January 14, 2007

:: Summer Lost A Tooth ::

My little girl Summer lost her first tooth 2 days and 2 of her first big teeth are growing in. We put her tooth under her pillow for the tooth fairy to come for tonight. I'm sure the tooth fairy is going to give her about 5 bucks. I hope she doesn't spend it all in one minute. My baby's growing up.

8:57 PM

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