Thursday, December 11, 2008

:: The Wrath of God ::

Are you a Christian?...Do you know what it is to be a Christian?...On the front of my car is a license tag that says “I love Jesus.” Although there has been times in my life I have doubted God and Christianity, I can now say my strength in God and Christ is strong. But I am human, and I make mistakes. One problem I have is when someone hurts me, I have a very hard time forgiving them, and letting the pain go. Especially when it’s the worse pain of my life, and inflicted by cruelty and by someone I loved dearly, and someone who is suppose to love me back, but didn’t. The bible says to turn the other cheek, and sometimes when you turn the other cheek you get it slapped, but your suppose to do it anyway, even when you have been belittled, beaten, abused, controlled and cheated by someone who is suppose to love you. It’s so very painful. I don’t really want to be negative, but this has happened to me in my life, and it put a lot of pain and hatred in me. Pain and hatred that I must let go of.

I know that life is short, and we are all going to die someday and stand before our maker and be judged for the things we have done in our lives. So over the years I got on my knees and prayed many many many times. I would ask “God why did these bad and painful things happen to me?” and believe it or not God would speak to me. He would tell me he had to change my life and take some people out of it so I could do the things he wanted me to do with my life. He told me I would no longer be controlled and belittled by people who only controlled me and hurt me, and if I to follow him someday my life would be blessed beyond my dreams. God said someday I would finally have the family and children I dreamed of. God told me someday I would have the 2 sons like my father told me I would have years before I even had my beautiful twin boys, and God told me someday I would meet the love of life. God even told me his eyes would be bright green. So you know I looked for the man with beautiful bright green eyes, and I found him. Just like God said I would. My dreams of family and happiness came true. God has blessed me beyond my dreams, and I don’t want to ever take my blessing for granted.

But I still carried and harbored these feelings of hatred for someone who hurt me in my past. I couldn’t understand how God would let someone be so cruel to me and let him get away with it. How could he go unpunished for slapping me, hitting me, trying to dominate and control me, belittling me, cheating on me, and doing it all in the name of our beloved GOD and called himself a Christian. I have no right to judge weather he is a Christian or not, but you see I believe some people hide their sins behind the name of Jesus Christ, only to make themselves look good and feel better about the evil they are doing. I also believe the pain he is suffering now is worse than any pain he has ever caused me, and I should not harbor feelings of hate toward him. His pain is to great, and I should not cause him more pain. God spoke to me 3 years ago, and told me the one person that caused me so much pain, would suffer beyond any pain that I ever had, or could possibly understand. This person would suffer far beyond they pain he has caused me. God said I would hear of his pain, and I should show sorrow and forgiveness. Even though this is a man has never asked my forgiveness and probably never will, I should still forgive him and let all the pain he caused me go. I also believe people can change, and maybe this person has been good and kind to the people who are with him now.

You see I know hatred is something that can destroy a person, and I pray that I get rid of this hatred. I don’t want it in my life. I don’t want to be a vindictive person. I know that if I am vindictive to people who have hurt me God will only put his Wrath on me, and I should be happy, because I am the lucky one. My life has turned out so blessed. I have been given everything I could possibly dream of. I have 3 beautiful healthy happy children, a kind and loving husband, WHO HAS NEVER HIT ME OR CALLED ME A NASTY NAME and I believe he really loves me and respects me. I have a beautiful home, a good education, and I believe I have God is on my side and in my life, or I wouldn’t be having all these blessings. I should be thankful for all God has given me, and forget about anybody who has hurt me in my past. God is the only one who can be their judge, and he will punish them how he sees fit. I should only pray for them that they become a better person, and be able to have the blessings in their life that I have had and still do.

Because God knows what is in our hearts; he knows why bad things happen, and bad things happen to good people. So I must not harbor on hate. I must let go of the past and the pain people have caused me. I should realize that perhaps I have caused them great pain too, and I should seek forgiveness for that pain I have caused, and pray that I become a better person, like God wants me to be. Edit

2:10 PM

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